Why I’m Switching To Verizon from AT&T

When I first got a cell phone, I went with Cingular because they had the best package for the least amount of money and the best coverage (I got coverage all the way from Boston to Ithaca NY). I loved my new cell phone goodness and, until Cingular became AT&T, I had absolutely no problem what-so-ever with my service.

And then they switched. And the “issues” started.

First there was the rebate, which is the only reason I got my current phone, that came in the form of a gift card vs. a credit on my account. And when said gift card expired a mere six month later, I called and asked that they replace it. This request, which I did not feel was outside the realm of customer requests or expectations, was met with hostile resistance. After speaking on several occasions with different costumer service reps and one manager, they finally reluctantly issued me a new gift certificate DESPITE the fact I asked they apply it towards my bill.

Then there was the phone issue. The current phone I have is a piece of sh*t. It got wet THROUGH MY BACK POCKET (caught in the rain one day) and stopped working. Rather than issue me a new phone, which I felt I rightfully deserved as it was an issue from their end as I felt it was a faulty product and all (I mean hello, the phone I had before this did NOT do that and I dropped it in the freakin‘ toilet one day), they gave me this whole run around. It took me threatening to pay the $200 to quit their company and go to a major competitor for AT&T to grudgingly offer me a new used phone. Which does not work properly–it cuts out at weird times like when I have all the bars. So, needless to say, I took this phone into the little store in the mall and asked what I can do. I even suggested that perhaps they could give me another gently used phone to replace this gently used phone with. Their response was to say that they couldn’t do anything, I had to buy a new phone unless I wanted to send my current phone–at MY EXPENSE–to their phone “body shop” to be fixed which I would have to pick up the tab for.

And then there’s today. I get my bill, I look at it and its $90. WTF. I don’t call anyone, I have a plethora of roll-over minutes (which expires every 12 months, BTW), and I had switched to a messaging plan that was more than three times the amount of texts I currently had. So… WTF. Come to find out, despite what the guy one the phone who helped me switch had said, I was being charged for going over my previously allotted 400 messages. I was VERY CAREFUL to ask the gentleman I spoke to if that was going to happen as I’ve learned that you need to do so in order to be prepared to argue the charge on the next bill. Needless to say, I was miffed that I had been charged, expressed said miffedness, and promptly demanded they fix it.

They did.

I’m still switching.

The Post Where I Whine About It…And Come to No Discernible Conclusion What So Ever

Writing has not gone the way that I want it to this past, oh, five days. After that stink I made last post about being a writer, I’ve managed to accomplish nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch.

I blame this on my setting. See…my character wants to be an ex-army dude newly (as in maybe a year or two) returned from WWII, but my setting screams late 1950s. So I’ve been debating. Do I make him an ex-army guy returned from WWII and try to shift all the details (dress, social mores, etc.) to the mid-1940s OR do I make him older than I initially pictured him and shift everything to the height of McCarthyism (which may or may not make sense for another character in my novel)? On the one hand, if I were to make him still a young man (in his late 20s/early 30s) there’s this whole “hope to return the way things were” that motivates his actions. Which would be easy in terms of the details I’m imagining because they seem to be more 1950s old Hollywood type of details.BUT if I flash forward, he can be more bitter and (initially) more hopeless. But that means changing some of the details, like his age (which I like where it is), and quite possibly make him a touch more resigned and surly than he is–which might not work for his involvement (physical, emotional and professional) with the other lead. And then there’s this whole thing with the occult vs. McCarthyism.

At the end of the day, I think I need to get my ass to the library to do some research into the 1940s vs. 1950s. and I really don’t wanna!

BECAUSE I’M A WRITER DAMMIT!

You know… I’m getting really tired of people thinking that just because I don’t have a “real” summer job–the kind where you get up at 7 a.m., take a shower, drive off to work all grumpy and slave away for 9 hours a day for just above minimum wage pay–that I’m not working. I’m a WRITER dammit! When I’m not busy working part time for my grandfather (which is a couple days a week) I’m working damn hard to get this book idea hammered out, revise two pieces written over a year ago, and now I’ve got to do some freakin‘ research too. Top that off with a desire to get some personal sh*t down around the house (my bedroom hasn’t been cleaned in months, my rats are starting to stink and I have YET to mail out my incentive package to my writing buddy–it was supposed to arrive by the end of June) and my days get pretty full pretty damn fast.

Let me explain my writing days to you:

• I get up, usually around 9/10 a.m. I don’t sleep well these days–I seem to be falling asleep around 12 a.m. only to wake up three hours later, unable to fall back asleep for about 2-3 hour OR can’t fall asleep until 3 a.m.–so honestly, this isn’t that late for me as mathematically it amounts to the same amount of time any normal person would be sleeping.
• I shower. Its my coffee.
• I check my email, read some blogs, update my blog/twitter, check in on the websites I contribute to, sometimes work on a piece for said websites, etc. As the Internet in my current humble abode is craptacular, this sometimes eats up 2 hours of my morning. I could cut this, but here’s the thing: I approach it as my writing warm up. Some people go to the gym to exercise their bodies and get themselves going for the day. I read/write for a couple of hours to get the juices flowing.
• I eat lunch at 12:30/1:00 p.m.
• At about 1:00 p.m., I sit down to write. I set a timer for FIVE AND A HALF HOURS and write (which isn’t nearly enough time BUT at least its some time, and I’m guess that when my “real” job kicks back up in August, that’s about all the time I’ll be able to write anyways). No freakin‘ T.V., no fun reading, no playing games… just writing.
• At 6:30 p.m. I take a HALF HOUR break. I pee, I catch up with my mom (she’s usually home by then) decide if she’s making diner or if I am and re-read some of what I’ve written.
• If I’m making diner, I won’t get back to writing that day. If not, I’ll work for another 2-3 hours (usually reading, revising and adding to what I’ve written that day).
• Watch 2-3 hours of T.V. depending on what day of the week it is. I need a brain break and I love my programs.
• 11:00 in bed. I usually use this time to free write or outline an idea for a chapter.
• 12:00 asleep: the cycle begins anew.

The only time this schedule changes is if, like today, I’ve got other sh*t to do. Today, I need to clean my room, clean my rats, run to Ithaca to GET my package items together and mail them, procure a membership to the library so I can start researching some elements for my novel… and all of this will probably eat up my writing time.

Let me clarify something. Writing is a full time job, one that (currently) I am not getting paid for. Its not some little hobby that I’ve developed, its not me finding a way to be lazy about housework or other obligations. Its me doing what I KNOW I was born to do. It requires just as much dedication to routine and discipline as any other job out there. And despite talent and that stupid M.F.A. it’s still freakin‘ hard. If I want to get good at it, if I want to move up the metaphorical ladder of success, if I want to get promoted, I need to practice it every single day.

So no, I CANNOT pick up your dry cleaning. Nor will I wait around until the mail comes so I can personally courier your pay check to you. No I will not plan your summer class for you. No, I cannot meet you for lunch, go shopping, or come hang down at the lake. I’m too busy WORKING.

Because I Have A New Kick-Ass Camera!

Top to bottom: Herman Plant Parts, Bleeding Hearts, Titan (aka “The Horse), Pretty Kitty

Sometimes, I Disappoint me…

This past weekend I spent some quality time with my father. This is not something that, under the best of circumstance, happens often and right now these are not the best of circumstances.

For over a year now, my parents have been separated. Not divorced, just separated. Its been difficult, and its hurt on many different levels. Sometimes I’ve been so angry, I haven’t wanted a single thing to do with either parent. I spend a lot of time wishing they would BOTH just act like adults instead of lovelorn teens, but their pain is not mine to carry. Rather, I am the adult child of a set of parents who are experiencing pain–something I wish someone had written a handbook for!

But I digress…

I realized for the first time this weekend that I don’t think I’ve been fair to my father. It has been so easy to vilify him in this whole affair: he’s the one that fell out of love, he’s the one that cheated, he’s the one that left. He’s the one that didn’t try hard enough, continues to not try hard enough.

And yet.

Talking with my father I realized that I’ve made the problems my parents are experiencing my problems as well, that I’ve tried to shoulder my mom’s pain while ignoring my father’s. I assumed that my presence at home, with my mother, would some how imbue her with the strength she’s lacking. I assumed that by sheer osmosis she could get back on her emotional feet and move on. I put all of my energy into that, not stopping to think for a single second that perhaps my father needed me too, maybe even more. That maybe, just maybe, he needed to hear me say, “I love you, be happy.”

I hear a sadness in his voice, read it in his emails. I see how he knows what he’s done is damaging, and I feel his longing to make it right some how without sacrificing his happiness. And I feel ashamed, not of him or his actions, but my own.

I have not been a good daughter.

Tags: family, revelations

What to do, what to do… my job teaching at the Local College is over for the summer (as of a week ago) and I’m getting some sort of steady income this summer in the form of 2 half-pay checks and $1000 for proctoring an incoming freshman writing exam. The math has been done, and I can exist on the money that is coming in–by exist I mean pay the bills. I have a bit o’ money saved up that I am considering using as back-up, thus allowing myself to have a summer off to… do things. But the extra income from a part time job would be nice…

Here’s the deal though: I’m knocking on 30’s door. That’s right folks–I’m in my last year of my twenties. Oddly, I’m not upset in the “Oh my GOD! My 20s are dying!” kind of way. Rather, turning 29 has made me contemplative, and that contemplation has produced the following conclusions:

1. I hate my current job. This hate is no longer confined to just my boss and the institution that that employs me. Rather, this hate is directed towards the kind of work I’m doing. I love (most of) my darlings from this year. I just hate being told what and how I’ve got to teach. I’d rather I was given a check list of skills I had to impart and granted the lassitude to teach those skills as I saw fit. Furthermore, I had the chance to teach a creative class Term III and…loved it. I mean REALLY loved it. I felt alive and engaged and creative. Each and every day I got to teach what I wanted, what I felt was important and most importantly saw those lessons validated by the work my students produced in and out of the classroom. Which leads to point no. 2…
2. I need to get published. If I want to teach creative classes vs. instructional, I need to get published. However…
3. I haven’t written in a year. After I completed and received my MFA I was totally burnt out. I tried to write and every time I sat down in front of the computer or with pen and paper, my mind ran screaming in terror. I just couldn’t do it. I tried revising some stuff I’d written before, but convinced myself it wasn’t good enough to even bother. Truthfully, I was scared shitless of rejection. If I was rejected, it meant I had wasted my time, and money, on a worthless degree. But then I got to thinking about it: I liked, no loved, writing before those three little letters graced the tail end of my name. I NEEDED to write… just write… without worrying about publication or failure.
4. Yet… publication is vindication. And without this vindication, and acknowledgement of my peers in academia, I can’t teach what I feel in my bones I’m supposed to teach. So publication is key. Growing a pair is in order….
5. Which means I need a schedule. Finding time to write can’t wait until “later” or “when I’m free.” It must be found.

Writing is easy, folks. Any monkey with a typewriter can do it. Writing well, however, takes immense practice, patience, and guts.

Wish me luck.

Just… Yeah… Huh.

Homeless Woman Lived in Man’s Closet for a Year

Word Nerd Survey Results

1. At what level would you describe yourself as a writer (for instance, just starting to take myself seriously; searching for a graduate program, etc.)? I’m a graduate of an MFA program seeking for motivation to keep writing with publication in mind.
2. What genre(s) do you write? Fiction (both “literary” and “speculative”), non-fiction, and script/play. The current novel idea is a touch speculative around the edges (there is a ghost and some medium type/type powers involved).
3. How do you fit writing into your life right now? I’m trying to find time. My job eats up a lot of hours, and I am decidedly NOT a morning person. Mid-morning is the best for me, so I try to spend an hour each morning writing and one to two hours in the evening.
   What is your goal for this project (June 1-Aug. 31)? My goal is multi-level and is as follows:
   *Revise 2 peices from my thesis and submit one by August 31
   *Finish an outline of the new novel idea by June 30th
   *Write a minimum of 500 words a day, five days a week (July and August)
4. What steps do you plan to take to reach that goal? I’ve done some free-writing to get an idea of what the story is as well as some character sketching. I’d like to map out the chapters and story arcs before starting to write the actual chapters. I am currently using a screen writing technique (scene shot mapping) to flesh out chapters.
5. How do you reward yourself (or how would you like to be rewarded) when you meet a goal? I shop, I knit, I treat myself to dinner, bottle of wine, movie tickets, etc. I’m not really picky… I like thoughtful items.
6. What writing craft books do you have/like? Writing Shapely Fiction, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Hot Property (script writing), that Vivian Gornik book, On Writing, and few others I’m sure.
7. Any craft books you’re interested in checking out? I’m sure there’s a few! Any good suggestions?
8. What inspires your writing? Real life stories, questions with impossible answers, sometimes music without words, things/people I see on the street, things I over hear/quotes, etc.
9. How would your author’s blurb read? College instructor by day, frenetic writer and knitter by night, the author resides in Ithaca, NY. When not kow-towing to the every whim of her ever growing menagerie ( two cats, two fish, three rats and counting…), Tina day dreams of the perfect surfing vacation: warm, tropical beaches stretched as far as the eye can see; white sandy shores devoid of tourists; popping up to ride wave after perfect wave gracefully into the shore without falling ass over teakettle a single bloody time.
10. Tell us about your family (partners, kids, pets, etc.) I’m blissfully single yet ruled by my two Siamese cats (Tai and Pretty Kitty) and my three ratlings (Sinead, Harriet, and Josie Roo).
11. Have you ever participated in Nanowrimo (finished or not!)? Yes–and I totally punked out 2 weeks in because working three jobs while trying to finish a thesis and find a full time job kinda got in the way.
12. What can you do to make it easier on yourself to meet your goal for this project? Create a schedule, with deadlines and stick to it. I thrive on deadlines.
13. What are you looking for in terms of support from a writing partner (ex. Exchanging work for critique, being held accountable for meeting a word count goal, etc.)? I need a partner who is going to hold me accountable. If we make a deadline to exchange work, I need a partner who will push me to meet the deadline without being overly pushy. I also need a partner who isn’t afraid to honest, or to receive an honest critique (I can be quite blunt, even though it is meant in the most loving and supportive way imaginable). I would like if my partner could be open to critiquing a few of my ideas (specifically revisions).
14. What crafty pursuits do you enjoy when you’re not writing? I knit and doodle.
15. What other hobbies/past times do you like? Sports, running, reading, movies, gardening, orchids, and recently I got into surfing (which is hard to do when you’re landlocked and living the Northeast….)
16. What non-writing-craft books have you enjoyed? I have Stitch n’ Bitch. I like most knitting magazines (Vogue, Interweave, Knit1)
17. What else would you like to share with us? I haven’t been serious about my writing since I received my MFA. I was totally burned out post-thesis and until VERY recently felt like all my creativity was dead. That being said, I’ve been told I’m pretty funny…. and honest and open. So… if there’s anything you want to know, just ask!

P.S. Please, no international writers (this time out). I’m on a limited budget

For the Writerly Nerd Types

If you need some inspiration or, hell, just a swift kick in the pants to get the writing juices going, check out Word Nerd Co-Op. Its a three month commitment (so, the summer) and you’re basically paired with someone who will act as your writing cheerleader. Your partner sends packages costing no more than $5 a pop and words of encouragement.

Not a bad idea… who doesn’t like prezzies?

New Hair Cut

I’m not sure I like this one yet… it might be too 90s (I get the stinkin’ suspicion that its a little to “Rachel”). I’m working up the balls to go short… which I probably won’t like. I do like how glossy and shiny my hair currently looks though…